Loading...
Some nights I collapse into bed thinking: “Valentine’s Day again? The pressure, the expectations, the gloss…” Truth is, this holiday often feels like it’s more about what we don’t have than what we do. So here’s a manifesto: this Valentine’s Day, let’s make it about you. Because self-care isn’t selfish — it’s healing. And doing it well means feeling more grounded, more joyful, more YOU.
We all know the usual hype — hearts, flowers, romantic dinners. But for many, that same hype triggers anxiety, comparison, loneliness. Studies show that practicing self-compassion (i.e. being kind to yourself instead of harsh) reduces stress and improves mood. Treating yourself with kindness can be a buffer against depression and anxiety.
Self-love (and related self-care) improves sleep quality, boosts your self-esteem, sharpens motivation for your goals, and enhances overall well-being.
Moreover, Valentine’s Day tends to spotlight romantic love, external validation, comparison (especially on social media) — which can be draining. Choosing self-care shifts the focus inward: you learn that your worth isn’t tied to gifts, partners, or “perfect moments.” That alone is freeing.
Here’s a buffet of self-care styles. You don’t need them all — pick what your heart & body are asking for.
Because self-care without orientation can feel like another checkbox. Let’s make your ritual feel precious, doable, healing.
Look, Valentine’s Day isn’t the same for everyone — and your self-care needs adjust depending on where you’re at.
Here are concrete rituals & inspiration, including some that cost almost nothing, some that feel like a mini-splurge.
Example: Someone might send themselves flowers (yes!), then read a childhood favourite book, treat themselves to dessert, then write in journal about what they love about themselves.
One day is powerful, but lasting change? That comes with habit. Here’s how to make “you-celebration” part of your regular.
Q: Self-care is selfish, right?A: Nope. Self-care helps you be more resilient, kinder to others, more present. You function better when you’re not depleted.
Q: Do I need to spend money to do this well?A: Not at all. Some of the most meaningful self-care acts cost nothing — rest, nature, journaling, breathing. Money helps for indulgence, not necessity.
Q: What if I feel worse the day of Valentine’s instead of better?A: That happens. Some feelings are unavoidable. Let them come. Use rituals that allow expression — crying, writing, art. If overwhelming, reach out to someone who listens.
Q: Should I still celebrate with a partner if I have one?A: Yes, if you want to. But you can also blend: do things that nourish both yourself and your relationship. Communicate what feels authentic.
If you take one thing away: you deserve to feel love — from yourself first. This Valentine’s Day, plan one beautiful thing for you.
Here’s a mini plan template to get you started:
Go light, go slow, go true to what your heart wants. 🕯️ You’re your most important love story anyway.